This is just incredible. Megyn Kelly and Arizona Republican Senator Trent Franks on Fox News have actually stated that Nevada’s Democratic Senator Harry Reid is pushing through an earmark on the spending bill to construct a high-speed link from Disneyland to the Moonlite Bunny Ranch right here in our own obscure little corner of heaven. The absolute magnitude of this line of crap is staggering, yet strangely hilarious at the same time. Now there are plenty of blogs and online outlets already examining this fetid whopper of a lie in balanced detail, so I’m not even going to bother. I’ll take the unbalanced approach instead, thankyouverymuch.

There is a pet project here in Carson City called the “V & T Railroad.”  The train route, a whopping seventeen miles long, is a recreation of an 1870′s narrow-gauge line from Carson City to Gold Hill. However, the closest the track gets to Moonlite Bunny Ranch in Mound House (apropos name, no?) is 0.65 miles, and the terminal is 2.5 miles away. I know, because I measured it myself. The V & T project has absolutely nothing to do with Disneyland; it has been a local topic for fightin’ and tax squabbles ’round these parts long before the economy deflated; and, frankly, I think a V & T whistle stop at the Bunny Ranch would be a good tourist draw. Whooo-whooooo! Well howdee-do, Miss Kitty!

So…an express rail from Alice and the Queen of Hearts to Alice–the Queen of Tarts, or how about From “It’s a Small World” to “Round the World”?  Or, in terms the Republicans will understand, “Eight Billion, same as in town.”

This bizarre line of attack from the Republicans and their mouthpieces all makes twisted sense when you look at the following study in New Scientist: “Porn in the USA: Conservatives are biggest consumers.” I suppose it’s just wishful thinking: Take the kids to Anaheim for a ride in the teacups,  then just hop the high-speed rail to Mound House for a ride on the D-cups.

I’ve watched this clip several times, and I have to giggle every time. Megyn Kelly’s salacious breathlessness and off-camera stifled snickering just make the clip for me. Well, when Rupert Murdoch fires her, I’m sure Dennis Hof can work something out for her future employment.

OK. Here’s a weird one. The bizarre news is all over the wires about a “tentacle-shaped UFO” that smacked into a wind turbine in Lincolnshire, England. The turbine lost a blade and had a second one twisted beyond repair. The witnesses insist that the UFO was dragging its tentacles across the ground “like a giant octopus.”

I’ve got a problem with this.

Picture if you will an intrepid crew piloting their craft across vast light-years of space, avoiding meteorites, battling Klingons, skirting black holes, and braving brutal radiation from star-sprouting nebulae. They navigate the astounding distances to pinpoint our infinitesimal speck of a planet in the unfashionable backwaters of the western spiral arm of our galaxy. They decide to take their tentacled UFO for a spin across the eastern English countryside and manage to crash smack-dab into a huge, obvious wind turbine like some student driver. That would be about as ignominious as Magellan circumnavigating the planet only to crash into the dock back in Seville.*

However, if a helicopter, airplane, blimp, or balloon struck the turbine, there would have been aircraft wreckage around the turbine. For their power and complexity, aircraft of all types are very fragile. I’ve seen enough aircraft crashes to know that something like a 66-foot turbine blade would destroy whatever aircraft struck it, especially considering the damage to the remaining turbine blade.

The power company suspects the turbine was damaged by “falling ice.”  That was one big-ass hailstone, I tell ya. In my non-engineering opinion, it was brake failure and a gust of high wind that destroyed the turbine. Here’s a video of a spectacular turbine failure which demonstrates that these huge turbines don’t need anything hitting them to fly into pieces.

Perhaps it was the Flying Spaghetti Monster touching the turbine with His noodly appendage.

*(Yes, I do know Magellan was killed in the Phillipines)

I was presented with what just might be one of the most bizarre and worthless pointless items ever created: The Yodeling Pickle. I can think of no reason for this, although I’d like to have heard the conversation in the Shanghai R&D office that developed this. I’m sure that they have the same item, but colored brown to produce a yodeling poo.

Miss Fish has decided to make it yodel it every time her football team scores a touchdown, so I guess it now serves a purpose.

So, what did YOU get that was strange or bizarre?