The British Food Standards Agency has posted a melamine alert for sexual aids and novelties, touched by the ever-spreading clutches of the Chinese melamine debacle.  As the FSA site states, “This is a first. We’ve never had to put out an alert before on ‘willy spread’ – chocolate-flavoured or otherwise.”

The products include such items as the “I love you” pen set containing:Chocolate body pen, 40g.  Hmm…better stick to Sharpies, and scrawling on your significant other when they’re passed out drunk.

Sweet irony: The sexual toy products were manufactured in Zhongshan, China by a company called “Le Bang.”